A depressing and frustrating topic I have been trying to figure out for the past three/ four years. I have looked up articles on living with people you hate, or living with toxic people and it all states the same resolutions often simply to move out. But I can never seem to find an article on living with someone, when you cant move out because you and the other person inherited the house you share and one of you (in this case me) has no other options outside of living in said house till life just magically gets better so you can move out.
This is my situation in a nutshell. To summarize, I live with a family member I inherited my grandparents house with. I cannot stand living with this person, and every day is a living nightmare and anxiety attack. I live with my husband, child and said person. The house is not large enough for all of us and I'm about to bring a new life into the world, as long as the stress of being in the situation doesn't harm the pregnancy which is a real concern and fear. The solutions are, as read in many articles, talk it over, and when that doesn't work talk to the landlord and when that doesn't work move out. We have talked it over, that didn't work. The landlord is essentially me, them and my aunt who is far removed from us as the closest female relative left to us can be, and we simply cannot afford to move out. Have you seen the rent in SoCal? Three bedroom apartments do not exist.
Telling them to leave is not an option either, despite me having a family to help support, despite owning a larger percentage of the house and paying the majority of the bills because we both inherited the house we are both entitled to live in it. I'm essentially stuck in this hell, between a rock and a hard place with my arms and legs chopped off. An endless cycle of living with someone who doesn't respect boundaries, but in both of our defense neither one of is respects each other. I hate living under their control and they hates living under mine. I can't stand their hoarding, their negative gossipy presence and they cant stand my wanting to live in an eclectic Victorian aesthetic fairy house not a generic catalogue page like the one we currently live in that has no character at all expect for being one of the crappier houses on the block.
Don't get me wrong I'm grateful my grandmother is continuing to keep a roof over my head even post mortem, but having to share it with someone who think they are doing me a favor by letting my family live here is smothering me in negativity and making life unbearable.
I vent this on my blog, because this is a life style blog and unlike most bloggers I want to be real about my situation. I love the house we live in, I grew up here, but I cannot stand my housemate, they are a fourth wheel and have the vibe of toxic house rat. Sadly because we can not move, I have no choice but to live with this person. At present we are not speaking, super fun. For me its more of a mental health choice, I'm choosing to pretend to live in a house where said person doesn't exist and try desperately to hold on to this feel, which can be hard when they act like they do shit around the house when they really don't. It makes living in the house unbearable and being pregnant I really have to do everything in power to be relaxed and calm. It's hard when you wash dishes and then look in the sink after doing them and the person you call a roommate didn't have the nerve to wash their one dish because of spite, or betray your boundaries you've asked to have because of the pregnancy. I'm petty yes, but I'm in my 30's and tried of living in a messy house just because they don't care. Life is short, they got to live in houses of their own and I just want this chance to do the same before I'm forced to move back into an apartment because that's all we can afford, while they live here, spinster hoarder and all.
I guess my point is, life right now for a lot of people around the USA is shit. Having to live with people you cant stand weather its a relative, roommate or whomever. More and more people are being priced out of ever owning a home, jobs are crap, wages are crap, student loan debt is a burden a large majority of us are shackled too for life. All we can really do is grin and bear it or PROTEST, make as much noise as possible to change the tide. You are not alone in the struggle for independence and financial freedom.
Till the tide changes, here in this house of toxicness I will remain trying and wishing for anything better.
